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Our Homeschooling History
Sep. 12th, 2010 06:14 pmOur family has home schooled since 1993. My eldest son was only eight when we started homeschooling, and my eldest daughter was six. Said son had been in public school for Kindergarten and parochial for First and Second grades. He was an unusual child-- he wrote his first word when he was twenty-two months old. As he was entering his "twos" you can probably guess what the word was: "NO".
He was not very interested in playing with children his age, though he got along with adults well. If another child was interested in his games, he'd gladly include them. But his interests were fantasy literature (he was reading Lord of the Rings at age six), anatomy, and cartography. He hated sports, and that was a major interest in our blue collar rowhouse Philly neighborhood (if any of you have seen the movie "Rocky", you've seen the area where we lived).
His teachers felt he was gifted, but his IQ score was scattered. He would do very well in some areas and terribly in others-- and given one area he did poorly in was "comprehension" I knew the test was flawed, at least for him. This child understood passages in Fellowship of the Ring better than I did, and I was in my early thirties and he was six. But the tests were timed, and if he did not feel like answering or moving quickly-- he did not. So he was not eligible for the gifted program (which is largely just accelerated, equating intelligence with moving quickly).
His second grade teacher suggested he be held back a year for "maturity." Her concern, and mine, was that he'd be bored stiff, as he could learn anything he chose to very quickly. My son's Godfather suggested homeschooling.
I thought he was nuts. I said what most people say when offered that suggestion: "What about socialization?" After all, this child had trouble (or was not interested in) socializing with children his age already.
His godfather said "From what I've heard, children like him tend to do better socially when home schooled."
I also thought this was nuts.
But we were up against a wall, so I decided to try it-- for a year. Then I planned to put him back in school, in third grade, and it would be just like he was held back a year for 'maturity' reasons.
That same child home schooled through high school and is now in graduate school.
I found my friend was right-- he did better socially when removed from a classroom situation. What had never occurred to me is that being age segregated-- with thirty people your own age and one annually rotated adult, for most of your day through most of your childhood-- is not a natural social setting. Sure, we're used to it, so we think it's 'normal'. But for many children, it's not a good way to grow healthy social skills. And for a shy child, it can be even more difficult.
Our first year homeschooling worked so well we continued, with all the children. I have five children, and two of them did request at certain times to try "regular school" -- and they did. I had no objection to it. But both came back to homeschooling. One had a very simple reason-- she was allowed to sleep longer in the morning when home schooled. :D (children can be very practical).
Now, I'm not an organized person and I'm not a patient person. I had a terrible time early in my homeschooling because I thought I had to make myself into a person I was not to be successful. Eventually I realized that some of my weaknesses were not weaknesses, but gifts. I had a spontaneity that allowed us to move away from our planned lesson to observe what God provided that very day. We took time to dig in the mud, to go to the museum, to find out about the world around us. Yes, my lack of organization led to many days where we couldn't find the pencils (lost time) but also led to many adventures and discoveries, because we were not bound to a schedule.
It seems to have worked. My older "unusual" son is now in graduate school studying Music. My eldest daughter is leaving for England in two weeks, to attend Durham University, going for a Masters degree in Paleo-Pathology (all that digging in the dirt led to an undergraduate degree in Biology and a degree in Anthropology/Archeology). My middle daughter is in California, going for a bachelor's degree in Entertainment Media. You see, when I'd come downstairs "For school" and find them with furniture rearranged and a tent put up and a "show" going on... I'd leave them alone to do it, because for a child play is learning. Phonics could wait, at least a little while.
Did we do perfectly? No-- not by a mile. My girls are all terrible spellers (breaking the homeschooling stereotype right there). All are weak in Math. But so far, all found a path that suited them and they have been successful in it. And areas they found themselves weak in... if they needed to know it, they did what we always did day to day... explored. "how can I learn this now? What do I need to do in order to accomplish this goal?"
As I read what I've written, I realize I sound like I'm bragging about my kids, and maybe I am a little. But more than that, it's a reminder to me that even things I saw as weaknesses and impediments to a goal, maybe were not. Maybe they were gifts which I was unaware of. Disorganization and ADD? On one hand... on the other Spontaneity and Adventure. Once, a priest told me, when I was discouraged by what I thought was a defect of character, "Don't turn on the gift!" Part of that defect was actually an asset, when I used it well.
I have two children left at home, and when I began this entry I had planned to write a bit about our first day at home school Co op. I thought I should give a background to our homeschooling first... and this is what came from my keyboard, as usual, unplanned.
He was not very interested in playing with children his age, though he got along with adults well. If another child was interested in his games, he'd gladly include them. But his interests were fantasy literature (he was reading Lord of the Rings at age six), anatomy, and cartography. He hated sports, and that was a major interest in our blue collar rowhouse Philly neighborhood (if any of you have seen the movie "Rocky", you've seen the area where we lived).
His teachers felt he was gifted, but his IQ score was scattered. He would do very well in some areas and terribly in others-- and given one area he did poorly in was "comprehension" I knew the test was flawed, at least for him. This child understood passages in Fellowship of the Ring better than I did, and I was in my early thirties and he was six. But the tests were timed, and if he did not feel like answering or moving quickly-- he did not. So he was not eligible for the gifted program (which is largely just accelerated, equating intelligence with moving quickly).
His second grade teacher suggested he be held back a year for "maturity." Her concern, and mine, was that he'd be bored stiff, as he could learn anything he chose to very quickly. My son's Godfather suggested homeschooling.
I thought he was nuts. I said what most people say when offered that suggestion: "What about socialization?" After all, this child had trouble (or was not interested in) socializing with children his age already.
His godfather said "From what I've heard, children like him tend to do better socially when home schooled."
I also thought this was nuts.
But we were up against a wall, so I decided to try it-- for a year. Then I planned to put him back in school, in third grade, and it would be just like he was held back a year for 'maturity' reasons.
That same child home schooled through high school and is now in graduate school.
I found my friend was right-- he did better socially when removed from a classroom situation. What had never occurred to me is that being age segregated-- with thirty people your own age and one annually rotated adult, for most of your day through most of your childhood-- is not a natural social setting. Sure, we're used to it, so we think it's 'normal'. But for many children, it's not a good way to grow healthy social skills. And for a shy child, it can be even more difficult.
Our first year homeschooling worked so well we continued, with all the children. I have five children, and two of them did request at certain times to try "regular school" -- and they did. I had no objection to it. But both came back to homeschooling. One had a very simple reason-- she was allowed to sleep longer in the morning when home schooled. :D (children can be very practical).
Now, I'm not an organized person and I'm not a patient person. I had a terrible time early in my homeschooling because I thought I had to make myself into a person I was not to be successful. Eventually I realized that some of my weaknesses were not weaknesses, but gifts. I had a spontaneity that allowed us to move away from our planned lesson to observe what God provided that very day. We took time to dig in the mud, to go to the museum, to find out about the world around us. Yes, my lack of organization led to many days where we couldn't find the pencils (lost time) but also led to many adventures and discoveries, because we were not bound to a schedule.
It seems to have worked. My older "unusual" son is now in graduate school studying Music. My eldest daughter is leaving for England in two weeks, to attend Durham University, going for a Masters degree in Paleo-Pathology (all that digging in the dirt led to an undergraduate degree in Biology and a degree in Anthropology/Archeology). My middle daughter is in California, going for a bachelor's degree in Entertainment Media. You see, when I'd come downstairs "For school" and find them with furniture rearranged and a tent put up and a "show" going on... I'd leave them alone to do it, because for a child play is learning. Phonics could wait, at least a little while.
Did we do perfectly? No-- not by a mile. My girls are all terrible spellers (breaking the homeschooling stereotype right there). All are weak in Math. But so far, all found a path that suited them and they have been successful in it. And areas they found themselves weak in... if they needed to know it, they did what we always did day to day... explored. "how can I learn this now? What do I need to do in order to accomplish this goal?"
As I read what I've written, I realize I sound like I'm bragging about my kids, and maybe I am a little. But more than that, it's a reminder to me that even things I saw as weaknesses and impediments to a goal, maybe were not. Maybe they were gifts which I was unaware of. Disorganization and ADD? On one hand... on the other Spontaneity and Adventure. Once, a priest told me, when I was discouraged by what I thought was a defect of character, "Don't turn on the gift!" Part of that defect was actually an asset, when I used it well.
I have two children left at home, and when I began this entry I had planned to write a bit about our first day at home school Co op. I thought I should give a background to our homeschooling first... and this is what came from my keyboard, as usual, unplanned.
